»»My experience
My personal experience
Should you be interested, I can now tell you a little bit about my own personal experience and my convictions. Fifteen years ago I had a brain tumour. The diagnosis was adenoma in the hypophysis (pituitary gland). At the same time I was to undergo an abdominal operation, because my hormonal balance was adversely affected by the tumour with pathological consequences. At that time I was 26 years old and an unmarried mother of a four-year-old boy. I was lacking a conscious understanding of myself, always felt a victim of unfavourable circumstances and considered myself a pessimist. So, under those circumstances, I was confronted with death and provided for all necessities in case I had to die. Then I was seized by an overwhelming desire to live. I sat at my kitchen table, banged my fist violently against it and shouted: »I don't want to die, I want to live! « It overcame me quite suddenly and it did me a world of good. A few days later I drove downtown to go shopping. I walked past a bookstore and felt magically attracted to enter, which I did. The first thing that met my eye was a book titled »Autosuggestion« I took it and read the summary on the back of the cover. The book was a guide to deep relaxation and consequent positive autosuggestion and I thought this was something I might need as I was in dire straits and could do with some release of tension. So I bought it and read it to the end. As I found it really fascinating I quickly learnt to do the practical exercises though those were far from easy. I decided to practise them one hour a day, because I soon noticed that I felt better and more balanced when doing so. Exactly half a year later I had my next appointment for a nuclear spin tomography (my head was checked to see in how far the tumour had changed.) But miraculously enough, the tumour was gone. As I was to be operated on not before there would occur symptoms of severe physical deficiency, I had to undergo regular medical checks. The above mentioned appointment once and for all, was to be the last one for me, nor did I have to submit to an operation of the abdomen. As with these exercises I had never pursued the goal of ever getting rid of this tumour nor would ever have believed it to be possible, my healing appeared to me like a miracle, which in those days I just could not explain.
I had fully recovered and returned to my ordinary daily routine without continuing with my deep relaxation exercises. Time passed and my miraculous experience more and more skipped out of my mind. It is true, I began to be deeply interested in medicine and naturopathy, but kept disregarding or further developing the power of my mind or drawing the right conclusions from my experience. There were good times and bad times for me though the bad times by far outweighed the good ones. It was years later during a further state of depression in my life that I again and again came across books that brought me to follow the path of conscious self-healing. Among others I discovered a book by the German authors Rüdiger Dahlke and Torwald Detlefsen by the title »Illness as a Way«
(own rendering of the title Krankheit als Weg as the book is not available in English), which I found on the rummage counter of a bookstore and which cost virtually nothing or else I most likely would not have bought it. Then I acquired my first books about mental training and consequently I applied the methods described, but this proved to be of no avail. All these guides did not lay great store by human emotions but harped on the power of the human mind to think in a positive way. In this way I took the course of suppression and submitted myself to the pressure of having to think positively. As I said before this proved to be a downright failure. I thought by myself: »What a load of nonsense«. Consequently I began looking for a solution to my problems in other directions. I began to be involved in everything about esotericism and spirituality and gradually developed the confidence of now really being on the right track. So I developed a deep rooted conviction that problems can only be solved, if you analyse them, that means, if you probe into the deep reason, which in every dilemma is always to be found in the realm of the soul. Of course, generally, I have always considered a positive attitude of life to be important, but I believed that our negative feelings were inevitable, as long as we did not discover and redeem the hidden reasons behind them. I firmly believed that for every human being there existed a so-called path of his life comprising all his interests, his talents, his ideal partner and, of course, his determined vocation. Therefore, I thought that finding fulfilment and resolving all pertaining problems, would inevitably be tied to the realization of such an ideal course of your life. I received professional training in various methods of resolving these problems including medial channellings in connection with shamanistic practices. In this way I was able to perceive and channel problematic energies of other people, as if they were my personal ones. I also succeeded in applying these methods to and for myself and have persistently continued to do so. But suddenly it became evident that one problem after the other arose and that there seemed to be no end to it. That means that virtually nothing in my life had changed, contrary to my expectations. I started modifying the method and thereby developed my own personal style maintaining the same basic patterns of thought, however. But again the help ardently longed-for did not materialize. It is true, I was able to give relief to other people for a short while, which, however, did never satisfy me as I was intent on a speedy, long-lasting solution and not on procuring myself with permanent clients to my own benefit. I kept thinking about it intensively and persisted in trying to find the right way how to go about it. I forgot, however, to lead my own life. I was at the disposal of my clients around the clock and then realized they had handed all responsibility for their well-being over to me thereby demanding a solution to their predicaments from and through me. That is, I was expected to medially diagnose their problems in less than no time and all would be in apple-pie order, for all this was just my job. But my clients continued to have ever more problems they complained about to me. And consequentially I got more and more dissatisfied. I saw my only real results of healing in the field of pain-relief for my clients, for whom I could procure spontaneous alleviation. I was so anxious to find a simple, easy and effective solution to their problems to be realized by each and every patient himself, because I was getting tired of working as a counsellor for, and detector of, solutions to problems, and, consequently, I gradually lost the bulk of my clients. What my income was concerned I got into dire strait, but all of a sudden there was more time to take care of my own well-being, which I eventually did. At that time a friend of mine told me she wanted to publish her autobiography and asked me to read her first text. As there were no more than a few pages to read, I did that at once and realized that grammatically and stylistically they left a lot to be desired. Because I had always loved writing and had always done so with ease, I offered her to proof-read her text and thus I found myself confronted with a biography mainly concerned with a love story. The more I read the more I thought of my own great love and more and more become aware that my concept of a love story was more thrilling and unique by far than the one I corrected. Suddenly I myself was seized by the urge to write and when I did so I experienced an easy creative flow. When I was done, I was virtually struck by lightning and I suddenly knew for sure that my fulfilment would be living this great love. And so somebody stepped into my life who I deeply fell in love with. At the beginning, however, it didn't look as if I could hope for a return of my feelings, but, nevertheless, I persisted and never considered giving up. Even though over a longer period of time there were only tiny steps forward, that brought me closer to my goal, but I was grateful for every little gesture that might be interpreted as a positive signal. And so, gradually, I overcame one obstacle after the other, full of optimism and gratitude. Today we are living together and I would never have dreamt how awarding a partnership on an equal footing in freedom and unconditional love could be, which is marked by a positive mutual dependence, because we both cannot and will not do without the other. It is the most beautiful kind of symbiosis one can possibly imagine.
This experience has convinced me of the power of my will and so I began to orient myself to another direction. Long ago I had read and kept reading the book »The Secret«, but it did not seem to contain anything new to me. One of my friends bought a copy and eventually I borrowed it to study it thoroughly at long last. And so I discovered the power of feelings hitherto clouded to me. My investigative curiosity received a new orientation and turned into a different direction toward another kind of books, as for example »Die Entstehung der Realität« (The Origin of Reality) by Jörg Starkmuth, and so I developed the method of my present publication »To Live the Life of Riley«. When reading that there were other authors that basically came to the same conclusions I spontaneously arrived at the idea of writing about it, and so this book came into being.
Today I realize that at the time of my exercises of autosuggestion I had intuitively been on the right track when I wanted to redeem and heal my disease. In those days, however, I was not being aware of it and therefore was not able to draw the relevant conclusions. Now I am certain, when I say that it is much more important to look after yourself and your own happiness before trying to realize other specific aims and thus making yourself dependent on these very aims. For only if you manage to love yourself and to feel well with yourself, no matter under which circumstances, can the miracles happen you probably would never have dared to wish for as realistic goals. So school yourself in patience and regard every step towards your goal as a true and important one. And even if you sometimes should feel like crying, keep going, because these steps will carry you towards your goal as long as you do not give up or resign yourself.
My guide will help you to give yourself a treat in words, thoughts and works and will open a world to you so that you will be able to »live the life of Riley«
Contents
- Preface
- Introduction
- What induces you to change your way of thinking
- Your intention and will as decisive factors
- Why do you feel as you do
- Why we shape our own reality
- Happiness, what does it mean
- The power of self-love and gratitude
- Your licence to everlasting bliss
- Practical hints how to realize your goals
- Further methods to permanent happiness
- My personal experience
- Bibliography
|
